There’s nothing quite like the life of a freight forwarder. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know all about the jet setting, travel and excitement it brings.
But did you also know that as freight forwarders, we have magical powers too? I’m only kidding of course, but it would be handy!
I think if we wrote a job ad describing the actual skills, talents and abilities that are expected of a freight forwarder, it would go something like this…
Job Title: Freight Forwarder
Location: The UK, or sometimes Asia and The Middle East, well, everywhere really…
Salary: Reasonable, not reliable. Sometimes you’ll be paid on time, other times you’ll have to wait 6 months.
Hours: Monday to Sunday, 5am to 4.45am (156 hours per week)
Introduction: Incredible person required to fill the role of freight forwarder. Must be a master mathematician able to work on multiple quotes at one time, whilst answering 10 phone calls and arranging customs clearance for another 5 shipments. You will be expected to work to very tight deadlines, in some cases so tight that the ability to time travel will be necessary, so that today’s shipment can arrive yesterday. You’ll be expected to work 24 hours a day, so the ability to function without sleep would also be preferable.
Responsibilities: You will be responsible for the safe carriage of all goods, all around the world at all times. This will sometimes mean taking full responsibility for traffic jams, production delays, mechanical problems with trucks, aircraft and ships, hurricanes, tsunamis and depressed economic conditions overall. You may be required at times to add unlimited weight and volume to a fully laden truck, without it actually changing the weight or space available so magical powers are essential. At times it will be necessary to convince airlines staff, truck drivers and even customs officers that the impossible IS actually possible, so excellent negotiation skills are required.
● BA Hons in time travel
● The ability to manipulate the laws of physics
● Master Mathematician or higher
● Negotiation skills of an FBI Agent level or higher
● Multi-lingual – You must be able to speak all languages of the world, including those only spoken in the remote parts of China
Other Preferred Skills & Experience
● A permanent smile and unfaltering politeness
● A PHD in Psychology
● Ideally you will be well travelled and have been to all the towns in the world, even those in the most remote parts of Russia.
Just a bit of comedy to lighten your day, but you might wonder why anyone would take a job like this on? Why in the world would someone choose to live this high pressure, long hours, fast paced lifestyle? Quite simply, because I love it. I love the excitement, the pressure and the kick from getting the job done. Most of all, I love the feeling of helping my customers to get their cargo delivered safely.